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Try Not to Misplace Your Belongings... 4/30/2004
Okay, this is pretty personal, but I guess I can share it
with you guys. 
<br>
<br>
My friends and I were in an accident and had to go to therapy.
First we had to do these exercises and massages, and I was
assigned to go to the tub. Well, after the bath, I couldn't
find my underwear anywhere! The nurse probably brushed
them off somewhere, but when I put on a towel and ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
33 Votes
,3.88 Score
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How to be a good wife/partner 1955 vs 2004 4/26/2004
Be a good wife. 1955 (keep reading it gets batter)
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to
have a delicious meal ready for his return from work. This
is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about
him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect
of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of
the ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
77 Votes
,8.44 Score
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Re: women who say i like everything 4/21/2004
Possibly when a woman says this, she means she likes and
wants everything done to her. Maybe some women who say this,
then have a negative response to giving you oral sex, just
aren't very comfortable with the idea of having a man's
**** in her mouth <some women are taught this is a dirty
thing>, possibly she gags because she hasn't yet
mastered her gag reflex. I am for one, a woman ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
51 Votes
,5.01 Score
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Speeding and Bass Aren't Drugs 4/19/2004
This is to the women of this site. I ask you a question, in
all honesty, and I would love a response. Are there any women
on this entire fucking planet who are honestly turned on
by guys with their stereos blasting and the bass thumping!?
I've pulled up to a car filled with women while my bass
rattles my back windshield and never ONCE has any of them
said to me, "Oooohhhh, nothing makes ...
0 Comments, 70 Views,
42 Votes
,5.47 Score
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Basketball, football, baseball...but not tennis. 4/17/2004
Rodney Carrington said it best when he proved how men created
sports because apparently, we get tired of thinking about
pussy 24 hours a day. Football has uprights through the
middle, baseball has the home runs, and basketball is five
guys fighting five other guys for a hole. Just like this
website or your local club.
Yeah, it still doesn't work.
As a college student, I have ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
41 Votes
,7.08 Score
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Take a left at the Chevron... 4/17/2004
The first time I got laid, I felt like Indiana Jones. I didn’t
have a whip, even though the girl did. I felt like him because
I was searching for that elusive little fucker known as
the “G” spot. I was certain it existed, surely it wasn’t
made up? I mean, there’s no way millions of women would lie
about a spot that would make them scream with orgasmic ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
36 Votes
,5.14 Score
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The Defination of a "Kiss" 4/8/2004
Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand
is always higher.
Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable
when returned.
Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is infinity because two divided
by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between
two lips.
Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to
the expansion of the heart.
...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
50 Votes
,6.31 Score
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Sometimes I really hate him. 4/1/2004
I have a great boyfriend, dont get me wrong he treats me well
and is a wonderful person. It just seems that at times he
really annoys me, just little things, and sometimes big
things. At first I thought, okay maybe I am just about to
start my period so I am letting him get to me or whatever.
Well, I think I am wrong about that. I just hate him sometimes.
Last week, we were hanging out, just ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
34 Votes
,3.42 Score
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Your permission slip 3/14/2004
APPLICATION TO GO OUT AND RETURN LATE
<br>
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:
<br>
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest
authority in my life for the following period:
<br>
Date: Time of departure: Time of return:
<br>
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only
visit the locations stated ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
69 Votes
,6.32 Score
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New rating system 3/8/2004
Jack and Bill were knocking back beers and shooting the
shit at a bar when a hot chick walked in.
"I'd give her a Seven, : Jack said.
Bill shook his head and said, "One."
Another hot babe walked in.
"Whoa, " Jack drooled, "that one gets
a nine!"
Bill shrugged, "Maybe a two."
"Wait a minute, " Jack protested. "These
two girls were the best ones I've seen in a long time,
and all ...
0 Comments, 102 Views,
78 Votes
,7.43 Score
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wife hubby... 3/7/2004
husband: i think u enjoy a lot while doing sex...
wife: yep i do enjoy a lot ... it would have been better if
u were there to see my enjoyemnt....
0 Comments, 23 Views,
89 Votes
,5.48 Score
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How to get a man's attention 2/21/2004
This has got to be one of the best singles ads ever printed.
It appeared in the Atlanta Journal. Companion Wanted:
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I am a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long
walks in the woods, riding in your pick-up truck, hunting,
camping, fishing trips, and cozy winter nights lying by
the fire. Candlelight dinners will ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
184 Votes
,9.26 Score
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A friendly encounter 2/20/2004
I had this really good friend named Dave who also had a friend
named Rusty. Well, Rusty had this really knockout girlfriend
named
Candy. Dave is a real bullshitter and I didn't believe
half of the
wild stories he told, so I just ignored his comments about
how wild
Candy got when she got drunk. He told me how Rusty was the
type of
guy that only wanted it about once or twice a week and ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
67 Votes
,2.84 Score
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REMEMBER TO TAKE IT OFF!!! 2/17/2004
My friend & I met these two guys from out of town, they
were only here for a short time building
a house.
We went to dinner, then to a local bar for drinks and dancing.
There wasn't a whole lot of dancing
going on, but there was groping under the table.
We drove back to their motel and my friend, with her date,
went upstairs. I stayed in the car
with my date for a while talking ...
1 Comments, 487 Views,
119 Votes
,7.09 Score
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His and her road trips 2/17/2004
His & Hers Road Trips
HERS
1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
2. Opens window.
3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer.
4. Arrives at destination presently.
<br>
HIS
1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's
the correct one.
2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's
right.
3. Drives an extra five miles just in case.
4. Finally rolls ...
1 Comments, 170 Views,
43 Votes
,5.73 Score
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oops my ass! 2/10/2004
so there I was with my girl in college. Lights out dormroom
all to ourselves. How did I know it was all to myself? my roommate
and I had a code if the sock was in the door, DO NOT ENTER. So
my girl and I were happily going at in and all of a sudden the
door pops open and this hot girl michele was standing there
staring. Of course my ass was up in the air from pounding
away and she just ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
56 Votes
,3.40 Score
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a funny "nightmare" 1/27/2004
This happened a few years back, but I still laugh thinking
about it. One night, after several drinks, my husband and
I were having sex. Well, I must have been really, really
loud because the next thing we knew was that our
was at our door and about to open it. My husband jumped out
of the bed, which was funny in itself because it was dark
and he tripped over the cover, grabbed something to ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
37 Votes
,6.45 Score
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RE: just sitting in the truck 1/12/2004
My wife left out a bunch of stuff! this is what happened.
we had been up for a day or two and it was in the middle of the
night and it was extremly hot so i was driving down the road
with just my shirt off. well we pulled into a truck stop i
put my shirt on not realizing i still had my seatbelt still
on. well i asked her to pick up some goodys from the store
i was going to go in to the ...
0 Comments, 77 Views,
69 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Deep, hard question... 1/6/2004
I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't
be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.
I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it
going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you
would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you can
satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would.
I am very desperate and I need your help. You ...
0 Comments, 109 Views,
88 Votes
,7.89 Score
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Whiskey Dick 12/31/2003
Guys: it's bad enough you're so fucking drunk
that you'll probably puke on yourself & you smell
like a vodka tonic, but what the fuck makes you think we want
to waste our time waiting to see if you can get your "flexi-dick"
in the hole?!!
0 Comments, 24 Views,
76 Votes
,7.36 Score
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ever watch your guy bake a cake? 12/31/2003
I've been dating this guy for over a year... I have never
seen anyone bake a cake quite the way he did... I began to
smell the cake and since I have been cooking for some 30 or
more years LOL I can tell by the smell when something iz done
cooking... I told him to check the cake to make sure it waz
done. (I new it waz) he opened the door to the oven, and closed
it... saying the cake waz not ...
0 Comments, 18 Views,
54 Votes
,8.94 Score
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we were setting in the truck 12/31/2003
my husband was setting in his truck so tired that he could
not stand up.we stoped at a truck stop.gene told me to go
get something up.he said he had to pee so when he went to get
out of the truck he still had his seatbelt on well he about
had a fit becoused he could not get out.i told him to unastened
his seatbelt then he could get out (hell it worked)now i
think he will think before he ...
0 Comments, 46 Views,
34 Votes
,0.72 Score
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When your sex partner packs a wallop make sure that you can handle it before you actually see it. 12/26/2003
My second boyfriend and myself finally decided to get busy.
We were going to go the whole nine yards. Foreplay was excellent,
I came four times. My boyfriend was very spontaneous, He
licked and sucked every inch of my body. I went crazy everytime
his tongue and fingers touched my pussy. He was talented.
My nipples enjoyed his mouth.
<br>
Of course, we came to the part where I had ...
0 Comments, 54 Views,
83 Votes
,4.39 Score
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3 types of sex in marriage 11/17/2003
When you are married, you have 3 types of sex.
<br>
Frist comes Kitchen Sex - you have sex everywhere. In the
kitchen, living room, anywhere BUT the bedroom.
<br>
Second, you have Bedroom Sex, since isn't bee a few
years and you might have , and the bedroom is the
only place you can have sex.
<br>
A few years after that, you start to have Hallway Sex. You ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
102 Votes
,7.63 Score
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First Three Weeks 11/10/2003
Why is it that the first two or three weeks of a fling are the
best? Her tits are firmer, pussy tastes better, and there's
more energy in the sex? Do I just get bored or do other people
have that same problem?
0 Comments, 14 Views,
32 Votes
,4.46 Score
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Confucious Says... 11/9/2003
A flirtatious man at a local gas station shared the following
with me:
Do you know what Confucious says? Confucious says that
does not exist.
Myself being witty responded, and why is that, because
you can't the willing?
No he stated, because women run faster with dress that is
up than men with pants that are down.
0 Comments, 60 Views,
37 Votes
,6.11 Score
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Humour 10/26/2003
A sense of humour comes in very handy to help you through
those rough patches.
0 Comments, 34 Views,
88 Votes
,6.38 Score
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Uner Pressure 10/24/2003
About 5 years ago on a hot September night, my girlfriend
at the time and I went out to the Claim Jumper for dinner.
If you have ever eaten there, you know they serve the largest
portions than just about anywhere. We had a couple of cocktails
before dinner and drank a bottle of wine while I stuffed
myself until I could hardly breathe.
When we got back home, we sat in the Jacuzzi and had a ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
100 Votes
,7.44 Score
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Grandparents get it on! 10/23/2003
Grandma & Grandpa were sittin' & a rockin'on
the front porch while I was fixin' the window on the
side of the house, they didn't know I overheard them
talkin' dirty to each other, hell they're 90 yrs.
old!
Gramma said to gramps " Hey! FUCK YOU granpa"
and she just kept rockin'.
a little while later gramps says "Well ya know what,
FUCK YOU TOO Gramma" and they just kept rockin'.
After ...
0 Comments, 93 Views,
125 Votes
,8.63 Score
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You're both Too selfish Pricks 10/19/2003
OK. You are in the best relationship of your life. You met
him/her in the library, class, club or where ever the hell
is you met. You say neither of you were looking but you hit
it off great. You called each other up a few times. Had lunch,
dinner, went bowling, and caught a few flicks together.
Your a nice girl/guy and the perrson you are dating is really
digging you.
The bad part about ...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
58 Votes
,3.57 Score
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