|
It Happens! 6/25/2007
Things Can Happen! Things like this:
She smells sweet, nice perfume. That's up there, down
there it's like a fish market.
You, with many oral talents, almost have her there, then
she rips a gassy, smelly FART!
You are in the most passionate of sex and you have cramps,
then the trots!
The starts to lick your asshole and nuts!
I saw it, don't want to ...
3 Comments, 110 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
Do I Cum or Move the Dog 6/24/2007
Oh My, ..First date, well first time we jump in the sack and
we were doing just great. Till the "dog". He
burst through the door and and hopped the bed with ease and
made a b-line for my asshole and her pussy. With a tongue
that makes me envious he covers our nether parts with long
lashes of the famous tongue.Well so much for the first time.
Since then there have been lotsa times. The always ...
3 Comments, 229 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score
|
|
Adult Gamer Part one 6/12/2007
Game Adults Play Part one
When three four couples get together at someone's
place to have some fun in the weekends, routine sex and swapping
becomes somewhat monotonous. You become used to the body
and a sexual preference of other person's wife or husband
and just having sex with someone other's wife or husband
looses its charm. So introducing some novelty is must.
Therefore you can ...
3 Comments, 170 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score
|
|
The rules from the male side 6/10/2007
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male
side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON
PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
down.
1. ...
3 Comments, 216 Views,
19 Votes
,6.55 Score
|
|
English Translations 6/7/2007
Women's English: -----------------
1 Yes = No 2 No = Yes 3 Maybe = No 4 I'm sorry = You'll be sorry 5 We need = I want 6 It's your decision = The correct decision should
be obvious by now 7 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later 8 We need to talk = I need to complain 9 Sure go ahead = I don't want you to 10 I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
11 You're so manly ...
2 Comments, 88 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
|
|
Words of wisdom on the concept of marriage! 6/2/2007
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and
wish you were dead. ********** At a cocktail party, one women said to another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." ********** A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband
Wanted" Next day she received a hundred letter's.
They all said the same ...
4 Comments, 212 Views,
16 Votes
,4.01 Score
|
|
Pre Relationship Agreement! 4/12/2007
P R E - R E L A T I O N S H I P A G R E E M E N T On this _____day of ______, 2007, the party of the first
part___________________________ (herein referred
to as "She"), being of sound mind and pretty
good body, agrees to the following with the party of the
second part _________________________(herein referred
to as "He"): I. 1. FULL DISCLOSURE 1.1 At the commencement of said relationship ...
5 Comments, 255 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
|
|
New Tax for 2007... 4/8/2007
New 2007 Tax
The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around.
Unemployed 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it
is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole.
On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!
HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2007, the penis will now
be taxed ...
0 Comments, 56 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
finding friends on SexContacts.com 4/3/2007
i don't know if it's just me
but i always thought it weird to see friends on sites like
SexContacts.com...but the other day i skimmed across
a picture that was really familiar and lo and behold it was
a friend of mine trying to have some fun on the web... i messaged
her and she was appalled that i found her on here. after talking
on the phone we agreed to get together and ...
1 Comments, 173 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
|
|
Meet You in Heaven 3/14/2007
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates
of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet
her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet
table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other
people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw
her and began calling greetings to her -- "Hello"
"How are you! We've been waiting for you!"
"Good ...
2 Comments, 208 Views,
9 Votes
,5.99 Score
|
|
I WISH 2/17/2007
A FAT MAN FINDS A LAMP. HIS 3 WIAHES R 2 B SKINNY, WHITE, &
SURRONDED BY PUSSY.THE GENIE SAID *POOF* AND TURNED HIS
ASS INTO A TAMPON....
3 Comments, 244 Views,
12 Votes
,2.09 Score
|
|
what is the real definition of a booty call? 2/3/2007
To me it is a one time thing...but what happens when it is
a recurring thing?
1 Comments, 109 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
|
|
Just a funny thing that happened to me. 1/10/2007
My boyfriend and I were having sex one night at my place and
I was on top. It was going real good when all of a sudden he
was like oh shit get off and pushed me, well I fell off the
bed and started cracking up, and he yelled... I look up,
and his jizz flew into his mouth... that's why he yelled
and shit. It was just a funny experience I thought I could
share.
3 Comments, 537 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
|
|
condoms safe ?? 1/8/2007
Condoms are not as safe as people seem
to think.
My mate had a condom on and he
got hit by a bus !!...
0 Comments, 69 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
|
My wifes new car 1/8/2007
My wife dont like the new car i just got her for christmas
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She says she wants something that goes fr 0 - 160 in 3 seconds
So Ime buying the fat cunt some bathroon scales
1 Comments, 161 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
|
|
Cock Tales 1/2/2007
Sheila was laying on the sofa with a cool damp cloth covering
her eyes when the phone rang. It was her friend, Jim, calling
to see how her afternoon was going. "Hey Baby, How
are you?", he shouted. Jim always shouted. He was
bouncy and exuberant and was the perfect person to sell
real estate to wealthy yuppies, which is what he did during
the day. At night, he sang three times a week with a ...
4 Comments, 436 Views,
18 Votes
,5.44 Score
|
|
ARE YOU OBSESSED? 12/31/2006
ARE YOU OBSESSED?
Ever since Eve convinced Adam that it was better "her
way, " certain women have had an extraordinary power
over men. Samson allowed his mighty strength to wane for
a flirtatious Delilah, Mark Anthony risked the wrath of
Caesar and all of Rome for Cleopatra's attention,
and who could forget that, it was for the love of Guenevere
that the perfect friendship ...
1 Comments, 83 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
crazy stuff 12/18/2006
hey there i had a exgrilfreind that said here botfreind
use a a potato on her that crazy
0 Comments, 142 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
|
Don't you just love it when... 12/17/2006
your lady friend keeps queefing so much that eventually
she starts laughing!!!!
It's a real trip, that pussy gets so much exercise that
it doesn't know if the dick is coming or going!
All the time I'm stuffing more and more air into it!
Fun times!
2 Comments, 135 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
She Called Me "The Doodler" 12/17/2006
I had a college girlfriend who was the most orgasmic squirter
I've ever seen. At the same time, I could shoot a load
four or five feet as well.
Eventually I was named, "The Doodler"!
0 Comments, 56 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
What guys think 12/10/2006
I keep seeing this post flying around about all the nice
guys left in the world. The post seems sweet and all. Sounds
like there are some girls out there who seem to really appreciate
the nice guys of the world…but C'MON!!!
Most of these thought aren't even finished…
Now don't go thinking I am Jaded or anything…I prefer
to think of it as I am a realist. Reality is, ...
0 Comments, 74 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Blazing Vaginas 12/5/2006
I remember it like it was yesterday....
My wife (Mrs. 30somethings) and I were enjoying "The
company of others" in front of a very enthusiastic
audience. The young lady I was with, was very receptive
to my advances (She was buns up kneelin' and I was a wheelin'
and a dealin')
During the course of the thrusting I pulled just a little
too far out and low and ...
1 Comments, 307 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
|
|
Men and Fragrances 11/28/2006
What's up with men being obsessed with fruity type
fragrances on a woman. I know that like to keep a nice size
collection of body oils and sprays. My regular oils, my
man doesn't notice most of them except for maybe a couple,
but all the ones that smell sort of "fruity"
or "citrusy", almost as soon as I walk in a room,
he gets a whiff and wants to instantly "jump my bones"!
That is so ...
0 Comments, 57 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
HOTEL FUNNNN 11/27/2006
My husband and I went on a little outing recently. We decided
to set up our first 3-some with another man.. So off we go
to the big city, we made hotel registrations at one of the
top hotels, we check in and decided to get all decked out
to go on our date which was our first 3-some date... so we
went out and waited for our 3rd party to show after no such
luck "we were stood up" we walked ...
7 Comments, 461 Views,
24 Votes
,5.74 Score
|
|
Choice... 11/23/2006
You chose to give a woman pleasure.
The woman would not leave your mind.
She haunted your dreams.
She came into your thoughts.
You came back to take another look.
To see if she was as sweet as you remembered.
She was.
She gave you a moment of pleasure.
She made her desires known.
She opened her arms for your embrace.
Her lips welcomed your kisses.
Her tongue danced with ...
0 Comments, 85 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
|
|
why is a bride always smiling 11/16/2006
Q; why is a bride always smiling as she walks down the aisle?
A; she knows she doesn't have to give anymore blowjobs
2 Comments, 162 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
|
|
future 11/16/2006
Q; how do you know your man is thinking about your futue?
A; he asks you to buy him 2 cases of beer instead of one.
0 Comments, 59 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
I"m going to jump out the window... 10/27/2006
Man o man...relationships
are enough to make a person want to jump out the window...The
stress and work to keep it together and the energy to keep
the "knife" in the drawer. I'm not byass
to I have to say for both sexes that we can really get on each
others nerves. I'm pretty sure we have all had those
days in which we wish we were single and free ha..but i tell ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
Near Drowning Experience 10/23/2006
If youve ever given a squirter / gusher oral while under
her you know what Im bout to say.
Once, and just once bout 3 years back I was giving oral to
this one incredibly slim girl, had to be 130 lb with A-Cups
and a certain level of kinkyness for tongues...
Well I was going down on her while she positioned herself
on my face, and after the first or second time she ...
4 Comments, 256 Views,
11 Votes
,4.48 Score
|
|
Complete Off!!! 10/23/2006
Ever had one of those relationships that seems like you
couldnt be anymore apart from eachother, but personality
wise or appearance wise your linked in a way you cant really
describe?
Ive seen so many people that I have attractions with that
dont seem to fit the bill so to speak and its starting to get
weird... Normally I like people that are generally tall,
creative, and ...
0 Comments, 46 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
